So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
