So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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