my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
