Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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