I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
