Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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