boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
