my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize