I don't think brook has ever known best
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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