She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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