i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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