i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
