belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The Olympian is in my bed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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