Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
