butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
