Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
