I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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