Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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