At least make sure they are 18
Why
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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