Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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