mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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