I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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