I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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