sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize