I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize