i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
