you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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