dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize