I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The feeling are messing with the penis
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
