do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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