While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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