whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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