There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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