I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
