You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
this will be a night to untag.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize