I wannas sexs uuuuu
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
