I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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