i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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