I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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