i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
