even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize