If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
