well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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