Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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