who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
