Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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