Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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