i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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