Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
