the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
