I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
