You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
