I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm bleeding and have questions
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
