I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
