My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
