We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
