I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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